For The Ladies

We really need a better understanding between men and women. Unfortunately, there is at least one very counter-intuitive point that makes an understanding difficult. Luckily a question has come up that I think can help.

Sociobiology is the science that describes the difference between men and women and the answer is in there, but it's not obvious. What it says needs to be reviewed though. Sociobiology says that humans follow most of the commonest pattern of mammals that is dictated by the result of internal fertilization. It means that males can potentially have many offspring compared to females so males and females have different reproductive strategies. Men sort of go for quantity and females sort of work on quality. So females are trying to find the fittest mate and males are trying to mate with as many females as possible. Men use aggressiveness to compete with other males for mates. Females use coyness and beauty to attract the fittest mate. The thing is these rules get a bit modified when you have monogamy because the male is then limited in how many offspring they can have like the females. Monogamy does occur in nature when it takes more than the female to successfully raise the young. This is very much the case with humans that have such a long childhood. In the more common non-monogamous situation, females often actually want to drive off the males because they compete for the same resources. Note that anthropologists think that monogamy in humans sort of referred to from pairing off until the end of the children's childhood. The female might then have more children with a new mate even, which makes sense genetically.

We're entering a new world with new needs in so many ways. Think of Democracy which seems a good political system for a hybridized civilization. Why does it work? Because everyone is enfranchised. It's fair. You might not get everything that you want, but you have a stake in it. Part of my idea for how to look at genetics is to use artificial selection to give everyone a stake in the future. Nature uses a strategy of replacement and only a small group really has a future. If humans do that, that group that sees no future will resist and our ecology, civilization, is fragile and vulnerable enough that it not only needs a very wide buy-in but it cannot well survive attacks. It needs to find ways to be good for everyone and it can work that way.

Right now, women are angry and I see their point. Right now the men are angry and I see their point. I was speaking with my sister and her daughter when they mentioned something that might allow some light to be thrown on this. Zoey said she hates hearing the statement "could you smile for me". In a way, it seems innocent, but I also see the problem from her point of view.

Please remember that this is counter-intuitive and try to figure out what this means. I will say that women get to decide the fate of humanity.

Humans are basically monogamous which means the male decides to stay with the female. Why does this happen? Males are programmed to stay for some reason. What does a man want from women? The obvious answer might be sex, but the wise answer is love. Men want love. That is counter-intuitive. It is like saying males are evolved to always be thirsty so that they will stay near water. Men will do just about anything for love. Women can often be socially comfortable with each other if they avoid status conflicts. Men need women. When women go as far as saying that they will not even give men a smile, they are disenfranchising them reproductively as well possibly from society and the civilization that supports that. It's that simple and powerful. If women want to claim they are powerless, keep in mind that a couple of generations ago, monogamy meant one wife... and a mistress and the maids, etc. Now, in Western nations she can pretty much eviscerate him if he cheats. Ladies, you have the power to make civilization work and civilization is far better for you because it gives you far more power over your destiny than any other social form. Rape is pretty common in anything other than an advanced civilization. Do not disenfranchise men if you want that civilization. Children do better in a family with an engaged father. Men work hard and exist in a lonely world of brutal Darwinian driven competition that women are largely unconscious of (For an explanation see Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent). Only at home can be a refuge from this conflict. Give him reason to work. Give him reason to build civilization. --Men, show some quality and class. Be polite, including respectful and don't be needy. Develop personal, social and technical skills. That's what women are programmed by nature to smile about. Men also have strong instincts for violence which is always dangerous to both civilization and women. He just wants a little love and beauty. Give him a smile and probably some gratuitous sex once in a while. A smile is always a thing of beauty at any age. Keep in mind why. It's for your benefit. It is necessary for civilization to work. It is said that if you give a woman a house, she will make it a home. Well ladies, give a man a smile and he will build that house for you for a family. Give him some love and he will work a lifetime to build a civilization where you and your children can be safe and grow. Wives, remember that having children does not mean that you have no love left over for your husband. That is from an older time when we were simpler animals.